This post is going to be a little more personal than usual. It’s gonna be all over the place and dive into a lot of touchy subject matters, so for those of you who don’t who don’t want to be dragged down by this I would suggest clicking off. I don’t want my burdens to be your burdens and let it ruin your day, so heed my warnings. Anyways, where do I begin? Growing up was not very fun for me. I had little to no friends, was made fun of for my race, and constantly under pressure for the amount of work and expectations I had to meet. I lived a very secluded lifestyle and a lot of what happened affected me mentally and emotionally. Some of which still happens today, but I try not to talk about it. High school was when I started to make some actual friends and during my first year I made a ton of them. We’d sit around a table at the end of each day telling jokes, talking about the latest films and games, and have a good time all around. Late 2017 to at least early 2018 was when I really started to get into gaming. I would write about the games I play and one day a friend asked to see one of my reviews. He was quite impressed and said that I should share it with the world. I did and picked up a hobby for reviewing games. I made it my personal job to cover as many video games as possible, so that I could impress and relate to those around me. For the most part I enjoyed it, but there were times I had my doubts. Like what game should I review next? Is this one a good review topic? Should I review what I want or attempt to cover the latest releases? It didn’t matter though, because I enjoyed what I did and had friends to talk about it too. Life was good, for a while at least.
In 2020 and you know where this story goes. Covid-19 is on the rise and everyone is forced to quarantine just in case the virus spreads to everyone. We were forced to isolate ourselves within our homes, and during that moment I couldn’t really talk to my friends as much. To avoid the sad thoughts of loneliness I played more video games than ever. I did more chores around the house and exercised to keep my mind busy, and it worked. I would say the spring and summer of 2020 is when I covered the most video games in my life. Pumping out review after review hoping it would make me feel better. Each one beaten felt like an achievement and I was extremely excited for when I could head back to school and talk to my beloved friends about all of them. It’s fall of 2020 and everyone is back at school. Some decided to do it virtually, but my main friend group was there. However, there were a couple of mandates that prevented us from hanging out. No one could be in large groups and no one could meet together after school. Those hangouts we would have after class were no longer possible and I wasn’t able to talk to a majority of my buds as much. The loneliness crept in harder and I did what I did before to avoid these thoughts. Try to find a way to keep myself as busy as possible. I played more and studied for my classes. It was my junior year and I was more worried about grades than ever. Trying to pass an AP class for once, make it into the Honors Society because my high school had one, and getting into a good college. This drive to succeed and be perfect, and this was a mindset that affected me for a really long time. Most of my friends were a year above me, so this year it was their senior year. I would never see any of them again and this thought created a lot of worry.
I worked, and worked, and worked to keep myself together. During this time period my mental health declined like a fiery rocket. I was absolutely miserable and my parents were not making it any better. I won’t say my parents are bad individuals. They’re good people! They work long shifts so that they can provide for me, and they want us to strive for the best. However, I grew up with strict teachings and that summer wasn’t the best for them. Specifically my father, who absolutely loathed the quarantine mandates we were placed under, was attempting to fix a car which took months, and had a few runs in with people he didn’t like. He was more furious than ever and whenever he was angry he would verbally lash out on the rest of the family. That was also another reason why I played so many games during the summer. To block out the many lectures aimed towards us and try to feel better about myself. It didn’t always work, but it worked for me for the most part. Fall 2020 does not go as planned and covid numbers start rising up again. We had to learn virtually and this and this…. I….. I can’t take it anymore. All of my former friends are gone, and the only faces I could stare at each day were two blank slates and a sibling who could not take it anymore either. It was a miserable time and the only thing that made me slightly happier were video games.
Then this one video game entered my life. Hades by independent studio Supergiant Games. I had been following the development of this game for a really long time. I saw the reveal back at the Game Awards in 2018 and thought it looked really cool. The art direction, action, story, and the fact it was influenced by Greek mythology. I always loved Greek mythology and seeing a game that captured everything I love brought immense joy to me. It was in early access so I decided to wait until the full version release, and thankfully once the game hit its 1.0 version it also came out on Nintendo Switch alongside its PC release. I bought the game day one and started playing once Friday hit. Hades is a game about a boy, the son of Hades, Zagreus, trying to escape the toxic environment he lives in. Journeying to the surface to find his mother who would hopefully express kindness towards him and who he is unlike his father and the inhabitants of the world he lives in. He’s aided by the Olympians who show compassion towards him. Excited to hear they have a relative that Hades kept secret all these years. It’s refreshing to see people who are kind and accepting towards you after facing hardships all these times. Pursuing that happiness is a trial though as journeying outside the underworld is difficult. The rooms are constantly shifting, new enemies face you each run, and dying makes you lose a ton of progres. It’s a roguelike. The way these games work is that once you die you lose all the upgrades and power ups you obtain. It’s a demotivating game philosophy for a lot of people, but there were two things that kept me going. One: I’m a huge FromSoftware fanboy and the concept of constantly dying is used to me. Two: Hades is a game where losing didn’t mean the end.
Each time you fail you get to talk more to its characters and learn more about the world. You get to learn more about Zagreus’ life and these moments are what makes us relate to the character. He’s an imperfect person with a heart of gold and honor, and it pushes us to help him get out of the underworld as soon as possible. So with each run I got better, not just because the game was fun but because I wanted to see what lies at the end. I overcame the Fury Sisters, brought down the Bone Hydra, learned to outwit Astereus and Theseus, and eventually beat the man himself. The one who has been making Zagreus’ life miserable. His father, Hades. I did and I finally was able to meet Zagreus’ mother. It was a sad moment, because there were so many things Zagreus wanted to say. All the trauma, torment, and fears he ever faced. He could vent to his mother and she could provide him care. However, there was something dragging him back down to hell and this led to a swift goodbye. Most video games I usually don’t revisit once I beat them. I moved onto something else and never came back, but Hades pulled me right back in. To achieve the true ending to this game you must obtain ten successful runs, and I did just that. I battled my way through the underworld ten times and eventually I obtained the true ending. It was beautiful. You get to see Zagreus’ mother, Persephone, come home to the underworld and make amends with her husband. Say that she forgives him and together they become a peaceful family. Hades still has a handful of problems, but he shows remorse for his son. That despite all he does he wishes the best for him, and he’s proud of what he has grown into. This made me think about my parents. That despite all the hardships they force me into, they do care about me. My father can transform into a raging psycho at times, but deep down he wants to protect me from the world. It made me appreciate them more, but that wasn’t the only reason why Hades was so special. It had so much to offer.
Like I said, I was really lonely during junior year and connecting with new people was difficult. I don’t know how to relate to others and so forming new friendships was hard. I was afraid of what I would do and the impression I would give them. What if they don’t want me or I don’t fit the criteria of what makes a good friend? I was anxious, but Hades was a game that made forming relationships much easier for me. Throughout the game you meet this colorful cast of characters and the more you get to know them the more you realize their pros and cons. The chthonic gods have miserable lives and are always feeling down, but you understand where they are coming from and you get to make their lives better. You help two couples get back together, a sleepy little boy becomes the hardest worker in the House of Hades, and fix the broken friendship you have between two childhood friends. The Olympians gods aren’t perfect. Despite their promises they hate each other, and if you know Greek mythology you know what they’ve done to people wasn’t the very best. Yet, they are still good people and show generosity to Zagreus. They have problems, but you overlook those problems to find what makes them truly shine. These moments are what drove me to be more socially interactive with others. Talk to those I normally wouldn’t speak to. Mainly those who are of my age and in some cases younger than me. It felt great and helped drive me out of the seclusive bubble I normally would force myself into. I was no longer a hermit...
I argued this before and I’ll say it again. I think challenge is an important factor in video games. Not saying games can’t be easy or easy going, but sometimes a challenging game that rewards hard work, dedication, and mastery. These games can help pull people out of a rut, and I am one of these people. It’s why I care about Bloodborne, Dark Souls, Hades, Hollow Knight, and the preservation of artistic vision so much. Well during high school I was a little too defensive of this belief and during my senior year is when I got really defensive. All my former friends were fully gone and I was left alone again. I was studying harder than before to raise my grades and become part of a group that shows off how hard you worked. I didn’t want to look like I was meaningless and that all I stand for was for nothing. So I stood my ground and in some cases defended what I believed in. One of said beliefs was the belief of challenge and it offended quite a few people. I had another mindset, similar to one my parents had, where if you don’t have enough evidence or do a good job at fully convincing people to your belief then they won’t trust you anymore. They will stop looking to you for information and view you as someone who is not worth looking into. I tried so hard to make people understand where I was coming from, but I couldn’t fully tell them why I believe in what I believe in. Why I have an emotional attachment to hard games and the many circumstances I had faced in the past. It was a collection of thoughts and experiences I only understood and trying to explain it to someone else will either lead to them not understanding me, getting half the picture, or thinking I’m both crazy and inconsiderate. It was frustrating to say the least, or for the longest time I bottled up every emotion. The loneliness, the hardships, what I have to deal with my parents, the abandonment, and so so much. I was at rock bottom during all of this time and there were days I would just sit in the car and cry by myself. Not wanting my parents to witness it in fear of them scolding me for being weak and not knowing how to deal with stress.
Then I thought about Hades. The game that basically tells the player no matter where you are in life you can pull yourself up and attempt to create a brighter future. Achieve a world that is better than the one you are in now. You’re not perfect, nobody is. No matter how hard you try you will not be able to achieve everything and sometimes the friends that surround you will leave. They will grow distrustful of you or not fully understand what you are going through. Two characters, Thanatos and Megaera, perfectly encapsulate this. Two of Zagreus’ closest friends grow distant because he left without telling them. Unable to explain what he is feeling and making them think the reason he left was because he hated all of them. When in reality that is not the case. You then regain their trust, rebuild your bond, and soon grow close to them again. You confess the many thoughts going in your head and you come to a reasonable conclusion. I obtained the true ending in Hades, but there was still an epilogue. One that can only be obtained by maxing out all of the bonds and friendships in the game. It takes a lot of time, but never during that point did I find it annoying. As I stated: I love the character and challenge, so the game never got old. It helped me cope during a lot of moments and eventually I calmed down. I became less doubtful about what would happen to me next and slowly I rebuilt some of the relationships I had broken. Not all of them, but the ones I cherished most. I try to keep in touch with them as much as I can, because I care about them. Wanting to make sure they are well each week/month.
Like I said this passage would be all over the place. I wouldn’t doubt if you got confused at some points or skipped a couple of descriptions. I wanted to make this not just to get a couple thoughts out of my head, but because the third anniversary for Hades is coming very shortly. Supergiant are currently working on Hades 2 and it’s one of my most anticipated games. I'm willing to wait as long as it takes to make Hades 2 as great as it can be. It doesn’t have to succeed to be original or innovate, but I hope it serves as a worthy successor. I occasionally hop back into Hades every now and then despite having done everything. It’s one of few games alongside Bloodborne that I play for comfort. It’s a game that makes me happy whenever I boot it up, and it’ll forever be one of the best I’ve ever played. Supergiant Games is one of my favorite developers and if any of the workers in the company are reading this I just want to say thank you. God bless you for making this wonderful masterpiece and bringing joy to Greek mythology geeks like me. Thank you for helping me during those troublesome periods in my life and creating characters I relate to. I’m excited to see what you have in store next and I hope you continue to demonstrate what video games should be. Works of art that have a message to tell and can be carried positively into the future.
Thank you.
Comments