It’s time to reflect on the work that I did in 2024, the past years as well, and my plans moving forward. I don’t want this to sound like I’m giving up on my hobby, but that I’m slowing down to recollect and focus on other aspects of my life. This is more of a personal article rather than one that reflects on the state of the game industry. Things have not been going my way recently and I feel like it’s due to some of the choices I’ve made. Life isn’t entirely terrible, but could be better. There’s a lot of problems that could’ve been avoided if I redirected my attention. I feel lost to a certain degree and I want to express some of the feelings I’ve been having to justify what I am about to do. Well first and foremost is the work of course. All the reviews I put out in 2024.
2024 was probably the most busiest year for when it came to publishing my personal review of games. It was the fifth year of continuing this hobby and I wanted it to be the best it could be. I would try to put out a new review every week, and if not two or three of them in a single week to make up for the times I didn’t publish them. It was fun for the most part and I put a lot of passion into it. I want each review to feel unique from each other. I don’t want them to sound lifeless or that a machine is pumping them out. I wanted quality over quantity, but that focus is lost when you are trying to get a ton of them out within a small period of time. It was around the last period of 2024, the fourth quarter, where I started to feel really exhausted. The last three months I like to dedicate towards catching up on games I missed throughout the year. Play enough titles so I can forge a good game of the year list and show off on my social media account(s). I have this personal fear of missing out on things. Not being able to relate to others because I didn’t have what they have. I played all I could and it was straining on me and my time.
The last three months of 2024 were the most exhausted I’ve felt. It also doesn’t help that I’m in my third year of college. I mentioned it a few times before, but I am not as old as people expect I am. I’m just a young fool who's been keeping this up since high school. I’m studying to become an engineer and it’s one of the hardest work fields out there. You need to dedicate a lot of time to studying and mastering the material if you want to enter one of few well paying careers in the world. ‘Dedication’ being the key word, because obviously I was not doing enough of that. I did not put enough time into thinking about what career I wanted to go into back in 2022. I chose the career field that paid well and would maintain the respect of my family. Yes, I’m in one of those family households. Never in high school did I take an engineering class nor was I very interested. Still, I wanted to help people and live a somewhat fulfilling life. Boy did this come to bite me in the ass. Each semester seems to be packed full of suffering and having to retake a class the next semester. Hoping I pass the second try since I only get two chances, and then failing one of my other classes since I put so much focus on the one I’m retrying. It’s a cycle of failure and after a while you get numb to it. You stop caring and this combined with pumping out reviews was the most mentally and physically exhausted I’ve been in a very long time. It was awful.
I’ve fallen behind on my education program, and there were moments I asked myself why I even do this. Why do I keep this hobby up when there’s nothing to gain besides self satisfaction. My only answer is that I want to feel like I achieved something for once. I wasn’t a very successful person back in high school, still not now, don’t have many IRL friends, no friends in my career field, and wanted to feel good. I wanted to justify my worth and feel like the work I’ve done was worth it. In the end that only created more problems. I fucked myself over. That’s the truth. The most honest answer I can give. My life is a mess, I’m tired, feel more lonely than ever, and wish I didn’t have to do this anymore. To sit in the hole I’ve dug for myself and rot away. Be forgotten for the little I’ve done to provide and entertain others. Some of you may say running this site is an achievement, but it is not. I don’t make money off this site, because it’s not monetized. I don’t get sponsorships from developers, and every game I’ve covered has been paid out of pocket. This was something I wanted to simply be a hobby, not a job. Unfortunately it did become what was basically a job. A leech on my shoulder.
So the new year has begun. What are my plans moving onward? Here’s to name a few:
Put more focus into my schooling. College is hard, long, time consuming, expensive, and stressful. I may be studying for a career field I don’t like and be surrounded by people that aren’t the greatest, but I do want to come out successful. It won’t be for nothing. My plan is to put more time into studying, getting back up to speed on my career plan, and graduate college three or four years from now. I will show everyone that I’m capable of doing something great, and that I wasn’t just another bum who did it for doing it.
Less video game reviews going forward. It’s the most heartbreaking thing for me to admit but this is the best choice for me. I noticed the quality of my reviews dropped during the fourth quarter of last year and I need to recuperate. Taking some time off and just playing the games on my backlog without having to write a review for all of them. It's more relaxing, less stressful, and speeds up the process of knocking out the backlog. Maybe I'll finally catch up on some franchise I've been wanting to play like the Persona series. Not quitting the review process entirely. For now I feel like I should just write reviews for games I really care about. The ones I can put out the most words for and are worth talking about. For the last few days I’ve been playing Metaphor Refantazio and absolutely love it. If I had to choose my next big review it would probably be that. Stay tuned for when it drops.
I want to pick new hobbies and dedicate time towards other matters. I have a life, and I want to live a sad life. Spend time with family, go to new places, and work on myself. I made a movie bucket list last year and I’ve barely scratched a dent on it. I gained a few pounds since I started college and have begun to notice it. A few weeks ago I started to exercise more and I’ve noticed a big difference. My mind feels clearer and my body is a tad bit more limber. I’m not obese, but I do feel like my body could be better. So there’s definitely gonna be more focus on exercising during my free time. Feels good to run folks. "Gotta go fast" as they say.
That’s my plan going forward. If you want to keep up on what games I’m playing you can follow me on Twitter. I refuse to call it X as the fat bastard who runs that site wants you to. I post quick posts about games I play there and sometimes other thoughts. Even a few developers thank me for the words I’ve left. I’ll leave a link for my Twitter account as well as my GGapp account. A nice site where I keep track of my games. I’m really into list making and organizing for some odd reason. Hope all of this didn’t completely kill the mood and that you all have a better year. Cheers to 2025.
Link to my Twitter account: https://x.com/typicalf001
Link to my GGapp account: https://ggapp.io/TypicalF001
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